I need a new car because this commute is suffocating the life out of my jeep.
I also need a new computer; I have a computer with a Pentium 4. Hhaahah, I know y’all got a good one out of that.
I need a new toaster because the irons are burned out on one side of each slot of the one I have, and plus, it has ugly burn marks on the edge that make it look kind of skuzzy. It’s going in the trash soon.
The coffee pot is debatable, though actually, the one I have is a conglomeration of two different coffee pot brands because I broke the original glass pot while washing a few months ago. So I bought a newer cheapo and utilized the glass part only.
A new cutting board is in the works; the one I have is wooden and is acquiring one too many slash marks.
I need new clothes. I wonder how long before anyone notices I get all my shirts for 2$ a piece at Walgreen’s.
I need a new stereo and boom-box; my stereo only plays tapes, and my boom-box is so old that while it does play CDs, the switch in between button is shorted, so sometimes it’s on radio, sometimes it’s on CD, and the volume often adjust itself as a result.
I barely know what a cell phone is, but I need one now since no landline exists where I’m going.
I need a new bike (at least new tires, the metal is starting to burn through), but every time I get one it gets stolen. On Thanksgiving Day three years ago, I rode my brand new Marin to the video store, locked it up, and went in to look around. I saw some suspicious looking guy, and turns out he’s the same guy on the security video uncovering bolt cutters from his newspaper and stealing my bike. 700$ down the drain. No more new bikes.
I need a new set of work boots. I have a set of newer boots, but they’re Wal-Mart brand, and would tear my legs up! I have to drop 200$ if I want new boots.
I need a new bed; the one I have won’t work (fit) where I’m moving to; it’s so old it belongs in the trash anyways.
I also need a new television because I have one of those gigantic, tube TVs that’s impossible to move without effecting a hernia; I need one because this thing won’t fit in my tiny new room…well, it could, but I would then be sleeping with it.
I’ve been saving, but I’ve saved enough to give everything, every last penny to the new landlord with the mind-boggling rent prices.
Is there any point to my existence other than to give everything I make to the landlord, the grocery store, energy and at&t?
I did, however, manage to get a couple of jack-stands dirt cheap at a flea market so I can jack up the car and take stabs at what might fall apart next. Since I only need one, actually, maybe I’ll give the other one to my new roommate as a welcoming/thank-you gift, I’m sure she’ll love it. What nice college girl could possibly imagine trying to get through school without a jack-stand?