Quietly I went to class on Wednesday, and quietly I discovered the building locked up because of Veterans Day. I was embarrassed, and thought maybe I should be ashamed; but I’m not, I take into consideration the POW/MIA malady whenever these days come along and I become filled with inner dismay. I even tried to join the services once by this issue alone, but my hearing failed to measure up. Nevertheless, I could have slept in Wednesday morning, and I can’t figure out why I didn’t notice the holiday, other than the fact I’m essentially the only one in my personal life to reflect my daily situation on, so if I don’t know, I can’t tell myself these things. That made perfect sense.
I did manage to get to a football game, even if it was only for the first quarter. I couldn’t stay for the whole thing, but I was amazed by the pride these people possess. I feel that pride too, but I and my sometimes scarred thinking from past life issues somehow thinks being proud of something is abnormal. But it’s not, and each and every one I know and don’t know who is affiliated with UCD carries tremendous pride and adoration for the campus and what it stands for. I’m feeling me some pride today.
Team UCD was winning by 14pnts when I left, and I’m pretty certain they won the conference championship because they were looking quite situated on the plays (I used to watch massive football, so when I observed one of their run plays, I saw some professionalism there). No doubt a round of victory cheers came enhanced by the lovely UCD cheerleading squad that attends all the games (of course).
But even on a Saturday, the quiet agitation that I might not be performing up to standard creeps into my veins with a subtle yet searing nervousness, and I find myself back at the books. Ah, you know what, it’s Saturday; I’ve got a few paragraphs and I know where the argument is going; I’m allowing myself a movie tonight. But postmodernism is not going far; I will be up early and spending the entire day getting this baby ready to print. No matter how well things may appear to be going for me, I live in a state of being petrified of failing. But then, I’m not exactly on top of the world with entrepreneurial success (creative types are just like that…) so I don’t know what I’m thinking here. Let’s just say, as soon as this postmodernism study is over, creative writing and piano studies for the next quarter…here I come!