Inject Me With Your Goodness

Right now I’m thinking of a song that goes: “oh baby baby…,” and that’s all I know. Seem kind of strange? That must mean I’m blogging on a Thanksgiving Day. This is actually better than me eating on Thanksgiving Day because I don’t need to be eating that much. My workout has taken a dive since I moved and I think I’ve gained about four pounds. Ugh… Life is a bit frustrating with the living conditions, but I’ve finally encountered a window of workout opportunity, and it began with a bike ride today. This came after a bout of laundry I had to do; the laundry rooms were all mine because all the kids are gone home to their families. What I found was how hospitable even the laundry room courtesy is around here; with our neighborly love for each other, no one will ever lose a left sock again:

My experience thus far has been interesting because I have been giving my professors the utmost of my concentration in spite of some of the material I don’t really agree with. I seem to be up to my old, behavioral antics, however; I am solid with making sure the work gets done, but with other aspects of my personal life, I seem to be making mistakes. The situation of over-achieving while failing to feel love from someone is perpetually icing my heart over, and this bugs me (excluding the awesome love I get from my beautiful and awesome blogging buddies!). I also seem to be feeling the effects of being tightly constrained with living, being seriously broke, and being unable to fully keep a lid on my frustrations that result. It’s like I need someone to understand, but no one is really concerned with understanding me. If I take an introspective look at this perceived issue, I see the “self” problem, and I realize that when taking the charge in life, there is no time to need someone to understand; a person makes decisions and moves forward. Is there a person who makes these decisions in my life? No. I make them for myself, so I am leading the charge, and I need to do so without the need for anyone to understand me. I think if I could remove all this concern for the “self,” my emotions and my needs, I could be a better person to those around me. Give love, not want love. And that’s what I intend to do. The more I remove my need for love, and the more I give love to someone who so deserves it, the much better I’ll be able to live life. I am going to start by offering up my tutoring services next quarter (actually, I already helped two students this time around, so cool). Yay. And I’m getting a touch-sensitive keyboard piano tomorrow on Black Friday, so I am getting half off the price! I can’t afford the original price, but I just might be able to pull this off…fingers crossed. I can polish my piano playing and get into those piano rooms and get involved with those students who want to learn. So awesome…

Okay, now that I’ve gone and veered way off track on a blog post that never was actually on track, how about a picture called, “cat at rest from curtain mauling duties”:

I took this picture as a precursor to a picture I hope to take in the near future of a cat in the window next to this one. The story behind the up-and-coming picture I hope to take is rather interesting, a story that considers the nature of cat psychology. But first, I need the picture.

Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was a good one!

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7 Responses to Inject Me With Your Goodness

  1. Carrie says:

    Well, I am concerned with understanding. Email me if you ever need!

  2. jnanarama says:

    Concern for the self is at the least a survival instinct. You can’t get rid of that, and you can’t rid yourself of the need for love. That’s the human condition. So don’t be beating yourself up now for not being able to transcend it.

    But the giving of yourself idea is good. It gets you in contact with other people in the same human condition. And when you give, you often receive, even if it’s just satisfaction. But sometimes, it’s more.

  3. LK says:

    This beating up thing, it’s such a cleverly disguised way of complaining isn’t it?

    Thank you, your words are good words, and they are nice to be reading from you.

    Nice seeing you

    • jnanarama says:

      Try not to read my contributions as criticism. There’s something about them that turns people off. I’m just not good at the fluffy happy bunny hugs and happy stuff, and it’s not you, it’s me.

  4. jnanarama says:

    Sure. Thanks for accepting my post.

  5. LK says:

    Reality is the way to live baby, much more preferable.

    I never actually screen posts, that’s not me. Someone’s got something to say, let it be known by goodness.

    Cheers!

  6. jnanarama says:

    Tried being real once, and it didn’t go over too well. So many things are good in theory.

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