Sometimes life gets so overwhelming, that the moments seem to flow in slow motion and everything seems surreal. At times like these, my face occupies a curious grin that tells me I’m plastered with a feeling of awe, whether or not I’m living in reality. When I sleep, I notice how the rooms I live in keep changing, and then I wake, and the reality sets in on what I have to do. Wonderful and beautiful reality.
Spring is in full force here and the sun is already livening the ground and baking the flowers and bushes and grass. The air smells fresh and the town is teeming with activity. I hope I have a good spring, but I already have to start looking for a new place to live. The state I have to live in makes the possibility of enjoying life seemingly non-existent, but I’m not as unhappy about the issue as I used to be. I’ve come to accept a lot of things, and so my view of life has changed; I’m better able to cope with these understandings, and therefore I get through enjoying what I can. And the spring weather helps with this as well.
I have so many things to do I shouldn’t even be writing here, but sometimes life gets so intense one has to alleviate the pressure and just do what comes to mind. I’ll make up for the time I lost writing these words in some other fashion: waking up earlier Saturday and taking my psych book to breakfast; staying up later and working through a movie; and throw in some cramming as well.
With all of the opportunities that are coming, hopefully I can land something that will work for me, where I will then begin the 60hr a week work crusade. I can’t wait. What a mess trying to fix my life from shattering my feet has been, without family or income even, but I’ve been through so much trying to deal with all this, that I believe a positive energy lies in the instinct of human beings: we get kicked around, some even get kick while they’re down, but we stand up to prove we won’t be kept down. The situation keeps dragging and dragging for me it seems, but who knows, maybe that’s just the way life is supposed to be. Spring is here nevertheless, and so I’ve got the bunnies and the flowers and the dragonflies and the sun helping me along; life is not so bad with the proper perspective.