My mind can get pulled in all sorts of different directions when negotiating the ride, which makes all of this very strange. Going through this, as well, I admire the others who are pulling it off too. I know of one other person doing school right now instead of working at my age, and I am sympathizing with their predicament because I am relating. I just hope we all succeed. The strange part comes in when I examine my feelings before, how I allowed them to rule my thoughts, but then the process of dealing with my situation puts me in a position where different types of thinking seep in, whether I want them to, or whether I’m consciously aware of it or not. Unconsciously working against this change are those acquired frustrations, and together the realism of going through what I had to go through to get here, and the life-changing experience of actually being here, they collide and they tangle like restless familiar dogs that don’t like each other.
I’ve got the system down now, which is hip, but one thing I couldn’t fathom would be trying to negotiate UC without the internet. To think of this just doesn’t compute, and I’m imagining all the lines and the paper that must have transacted in the days past. On the contrary, our Psych 101 professor told us how he got through an entire semester for around $50.00 in the early sixties. How times have changed on that end. What I notice most is how the inter-connectivity of people is what makes this all work, and so to be isolated, is to be left behind. All this leads to the realization that seeking leads to finding, and finding what works seeps into the system of doing things, because it works.