State of Stasis

What is that zone that is in between? The Twilight Zone? That is where I feel I reside. The Twilight Zone. Nothing good nor bad is happening, but it just feels with a lack of comfort. I wish I could shake the feeling, but I am having no success. The only thing that feels comfortable is being able to write here, without the threat of some instructor/professor whacking my fingers as I type and marking my papers because they aren’t perfect enough. I swear, while I get fascinating grades, I still have yet to get back a paper that simply says: “Good Job.” There always has to be some comment and markings about something…perfectly irksome it is.

One thing I did encounter is the need for preparation when making a presentation. Just because I think I have everything mapped out in my brain doesn’t mean the information is going to come out perfectly, like how I thought the night before. I pulled matters off, but I could have done better if I had been more prepared; and boy o boy could everyone tell. You love those moments.

I have been in a state of mental disrepair. Actually, I was feeling rather zipdidy a day or so ago, then everything just fell apart. I think it’s because I really need a back massage, or a trip to the ocean, or something just fun, and I have no resources to do anything. Gee whiz, I couldn’t even get a job selling printer cartridges at Office Max…the first time in my entire life I was denied a job for being over qualified.

I predicted my life would be this way. When I took on the challenge of getting a degree, I knew there would be lots of frustration…and I was right. I was absolutely on the money. Luckily I am the type that is adaptable and willing to persevere. There’s a lot of emphasis placed on being social for fellows like me, and yet, people in social arenas are, well, generally outgoing. I’m not outgoing anymore. I should be, and I can be when necessary. What I remember, is during the days when I was working, I spent long hours with people I worked with, and once a week we always connected and went to lunch or someone’s house or a bar. I think I just can’t wait to get back to being a human being with a job.

So I will continue crawling the walls and snickering at these pesky instructors hell-bent on refusing to let anyone’s paper go without making some annoying comment.

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