Emergence

This is the scene where it all happened, the cave of despair. Since I keep moving from place to place, I find documenting the rooms I occupy useful for following the trail of my past, pictures I can pair up with a chronolog document I created that documents the events of my life from the mysterious day I was born. At any rate, back to my room; it’s darkened recess properties is where I had to hibernate to recover from four different infections. After my ear infection, I was devastated when I realized I had one in the other ear once the first one began to dissipate. Physically speaking, this has been absolutely the worst quarter of my educational experience and I hope I never have to endure another one. Luckily, I have professors who are very understanding, and with my doctor’s report, I was allowed to postpone a midterm. What insanity.

Now I am blogging on short time, which means my prose is, probably like always, disjointed and rampant because I’m not focusing on anything but trying to get the post done so I can get back to work. For this blog, it’s okay because it’s the bloggy blog which I can sort of unwind…right?…do people judge the writing skills of others on these things?

While I was tired of having to literally lay down and let anit-biotics work on my body, I let the Vicodin sort of take hold of my spirits and I found myself digging through my miniature collection of books just to figure out if I had any thing left of my literary zeal. And since I noticed I’ve neglected my camera, I took a picture. Feels crazy seeing myself behave in such way, poring through my books like that, then taking a picture of it, of all things, but it was a little cathartic at least, as though I weren’t some dead thing bound to the floor any longer.

In the process, I found an astrological diagram I drew once, a long time ago when I thought that stuff mattered. What I found interesting, actually, after I drew the thing, was that in order to follow the months of the year, with the present month pointing upward at all times, was that the months had to be written counter-clockwise for the year to progress in a clockwise fashion. Aside from that, my study of Astrology has vanished from my life, which poses an interesting subject for study on the progression of human thinking and how our thoughts evolve. Now I am digressing…

Ultimately, I had to blog, just to blog because that’s what this blog is here for. Feels a little silly because I found myself trying to find something interesting to say, but nothing is interesting about being painfully sick. I took a few pictures, and lost all interest. The work piled up and I have massive studies to work on as the academic endeavor comes to a close. The strangest thing I encountered, taking what few pictures I did, was how much my appearance had changed due to being so sick:

Hopefully as I come back to the world of the living, my old self will sort of, re-materialize, whatever that old self may be…I feel like I have lost some things, and some people that I knew I don’t even think I’ve spoken to in a long time…but if I had time, which I wish I did, I would be more introspective and tell about some of the people that helped me get through.

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