LKwinter (1968- Present) is the screen name for a blogger who uses WordPress.com. He currently lives on the West Coast of the United States of America in Northern California. As a result of an accident that left him essentially crippled, he is for the time being, caught up in the game of pursuing higher education. Because the process of acquiring new job skills requires attending multiple colleges, LKwinter travels from town to town living on very little money while spending great amounts of time eating TV dinners and studying till his brain drips out of his ears.
LKwinter began his life adopted into a military family; the identity of his birth parents remain, to date, unknown. The mother-father-daughter team that adopted him were, as a family, blood related. Physically speaking, they were enormous people in comparison to LKwinter, and with the three of them already being much older, he became something of an object of their comments and a subject to their behaviors. Moving from place to place in military fashion acclimated him well to an unsituated life of which, any semblance of a permanent home remains elusive.
Around the age of ten LKwinter began reading books of fiction such as the Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien and Conan the Barbarian by Robert E. Howard. Record albums by Led Zeppelin and AC/DC were also somehow introduced into his life, much to the dismay of his adopted mother, so that he became interested in playing the guitar. Sports were of little interest to LKwinter in spite of his agile size. His natural intelligence pointed him in the academic direction, and in light of an embarrassing scene at a youth baseball game in which the seat of his pants ripped open during a fast ball swing-and-a-miss, he grew to avoid sports altogether.
LKwinter’s personal life, in spite of his creative interests, was tumultuous and hectic. He in no way whatsoever fit in with his adopted family, a family that ended up splitting into different directions as the result of divorce anyways. The presence of abusive domestic issues inflicted him with psychological impact. After temporarily dropping out, LKwinter barely managed to graduate from high school after which, his love for playing guitar led him to participate in a number of unsuccessful bands.
Love did not elude LKwinter. He was as passionate about the girl he fell for as he was for his music. A point in time came when LKwinter toured much of the area performing in a band that grew to become recognizable as a contending entity in the world of music. His girl, Ms DMsprenda, loved him for this, until the accident changed LKwinter’s ability to fund the operation. The band had not gone far enough to market, and by the time the first of LK’s guitars was pawned for money, after the disability checks ran dry, Ms sprenda left him for an unknown person. With the departure of the love of his life, LKwinter struggled to make sense of his circumstances. He went on to like and date other girls, but realized that the elusive career in his life was an ultimate problem that had to be overcome.
The Deep Years
A meandering life of construction emerged for LKwinter. He learned quickly that such construction jobs ended when projects and tracts were completed. This issue led to the problem of continually having to look for work. Oddly enough, the path of his construction career came to an abrubt halt on the day of an accident that left both of his ankles and heelbones permanently damaged. What once existed of LKwinter’s social life began to diminish as a result; one by one his friends disappeared as the stark reality of his disability grew to torture his life by crippling his ability to meet the requirements for the bulk of his job options. The separation then disappearance of his adopted family rendered his situation even worse as he realized there would be nowhere to turn for regrouping so as to plan for a new way of living.
Proceeding the accident, life became very difficult for LKwinter. The ability to find a job that could accommodate the immense physical pain he suffered became an impossible goal to achieve. With only on his skills as a construction worker to fill his résumé, companies and government jobs denied his applications for lack of experience and education. The effect of these continuing rejections produced a series of depressive episodes that left him without a means nor place to live at many critical points of his life. Life became a bleak zone of existence for the still relatively young man. A phase ensued in which he forced himself for many years to simply work the construction jobs he knew how to do, but eventually the problem of chronic pain grew to become unavoidable. Upon realizing the true scope of his situation, essentially twenty years behind his cohorts in life, and after enduring yet another unsettling experience attempting to make ends meet for himself, LKwinter decided to return to school.
In spite of his success in college, making friends was difficult as his poverty tended to frustrate him immensely. Grappling with resentments and financial frustrations during his previous years had substantially diminished his ability to socialize. He spent time getting to know his professors, but he seemed to stand out in an awkward way among peers half his age in the classroom. Unable to fit in many situations, his sights were continually set on advancement and success. His first degree came from the community college and his second came from a prominent university. With the economic collapse of the country occurring ironically during this span of time, however, LKwinter quickly found out neither of his degrees would do him any good. With his heart set on simply finding a life to live, amongst a world of failing financial policies and crumbling economic stabilities, LKwinter eventually found a bush to sleep in by a river.
LKwinter was produced by underaged, unprotected sex beween a very young couple under the bleachers of some high school football field in Arkansas. The mother vanished immediately. Rumor has it she may have been on acid and very drunk at the time, but what is known for certain is that she left the finished product of her behavior at a Catholic Church. The male producer[s] involved are unknown and reputed to have either dissipated into the hippie culture of Haight St. in San Francisco or to have been lost somewhere in the Vietnam War. Production costs were kept to a minimum, that is, whatever the cost of a joint and a bottle of liquor was during the late 1960s, and production time was kept well within budget, totaling a whopping 1min and 37seconds to complete. Proceeding an uproarious, anger-filled discovery, little argument came from the executive producers where it was quickly decided that the trouble of post-production costs would simply be handed off to the church.
Content and Themes
LKwinter embodies a variety of themes that are centered primarily in agnosticism, atheism and religion. Such themes arose from the content LKwinter was exposed to, content that includes adoption, abortion, alcoholism, abandonment and abuse along with the many other negative things one can think of in life. Out of the connection between such content and themes, complimentary positive themes of ambition, survival and persistence pervade the landscape of LKwinter’s life. The religious/non-religious aspects of interest came from the concluded observation and assumption that supernatural entities do not aid those in need, much less make themselves visible in any way, shape or form so that they could at least appear like they want to help. The argument that “God works in mysterious ways” has been continually boiled down to the same argumentative plane that equates “survival is for the fittest,” either physically or psychologically. That the supernatural generally involves unseen forces, this unseen nature tends to posit the notion that being unseen is the same thing as being non-existent, as neither are seen doing anything. In times of dire straits, therefore, the conclusion that best fit LKwinter was that the reality of any such situation is to be taken at face value for what it really is: reality.
Critics have noted LKwinter for the connection between his persistence in trying to succeed and his persistent lack of success. Person.com gave him a rating of 57.3 out of a 100 for tolerability as a human being while Humantomatoes gave him a 7 out of 9.6 for the “would you allow yourself to be seen with this person” factor. Jane Stahley from the Northern Tribune calls LKwinter a “turbulent stream of never-ending chatter,” stating that while he has a disposition for being shy, once he gets started, he never shuts up. Joel Blaine of The CA Times says that LKwinter moves along “like a greenish blob in a marsh whose features comprise a mixture of calculated boredom and unabashed cynicism.” Lyle Flakey says LKwinter is a sensation thriving among the American public, “a voice that stands in spite of the underwear that is always peaking from the backside of his pants.” Michelle Baker of the Local Herald says that LKwinter makes her simply sick with disgust, though she admitted to having a strange but intriguing dream about him in her bed. Mawry Blevins at CNCNU found LKwinter to be a “perilously freaky individual” while Mark Blackbird of the AFPP wrote simply, “this guy rocks!…just do your best to steer clear of him.”
A sequel to LKwinter was on the table during the late 1990s until an abrupt change occurred with the producers interested. With two different ideas on how to create LKwinter: Carnal Mysteries Unraveled, the production stalled when an agreement was made that the presence of abject poverty would affect certain outcomes. With the prospect of a bold new world on the horizon, however, plans to reinvent a new and better LKwinter has recently been rumored. The process will involve life at its most tedious and the executives at the top expect the budget will be the main obstacle if any should arise. As it stands, The Return of LKwinter is currently in the creative process and news of progress remains to be heard.